Posts Tagged ‘change’

I can change

In Uncategorized on January 17, 2013 at 9:49 am



This week I have really demonstrated that to myself. My usual Sunday was not spent eating. I reorganized my closet, cooked a soup, ate a nice moderate dinner and didn’t snack. It was the exact behavior I have been aiming for. From all of the books I read about habit and change, I have to believe I CAN CHANGE. Which I know I can. You must also put in the effort.

This week is a bit tougher. While I am no longer commuting, I am downtown in a city. The last time I was there working I was 10 pounds lighter. I KNOW this is irrelevant but two winters ago, my coats fit better. Things looked better. Not that I was able to hide during my commute, but I feel more exposed. I want to look nicer. So I’ve been feeling a bit down about my body. and Lack of progress or rather slow progress. I have tried to avoid the snacks but today I ate candy. Not a ton. But i had four mini candy, had handful of peanut mm’s x 2, handful of regular mm’x, sour patch x2 servings and some goldfish


oh and some trail mix and mixed nuts

THATS A LOT. Jeez how to people eat normally? I mean things add up quickly. Well I finally stopped. Instead of resigning to a full out binge, I went running. For an hour. Which was hard. But rewarding and great.

I work so hard to setup my healthy behavior. I’ve made working out a priority and SUCH a good habit. I cook my meals. I like to eat clean. But it’s the old emotional habits that stump me. I knew this week at work things would be slow, it would be an adjustment period, the office is quieter. Those are all triggers for me. I have a really hard time with the quiet boredom. 

And my jeans are tight

and its COLD and I dont have cute warm flattering clothes

And i feel anxious about work. New territory. New comp plan. I want the ability to negotiate base. ANXIOUS I won’t get what I want. Scared about potential hours

But despite all of this I have made relatively good choices. I’m frustrated because it’s slow to move. Because losing weight is hard and it sucks and Im still pissed I PUT ALL OF IT BACK ON. Slow surely added more and more weight to my body

After this lesson. I am not repeating this mistake. They say you are doomed to repeat mistakes until you learn from them. I really hope and believe this is the last and final time.

Now, I have to be patient. I have to be understanding and nurturing of myself. I have to reward myself for the smart little choices I make along the way. And I really REALLY have to stay away from the candy. MY TRIGGER I am learning is a MID morning snack which makes me full before lunch, yet I’m still hungry around lunch so I eat and I’m full and I feel fat and my jeans are tight. NOW I know that eating more isnt the answer, but it’s a temporary high/relief from the feelings. But it’s really not. I just have to take a deep breathe. Drink HOT tea. and move on

A positive attitude will make this worthwhile as well

Small consistent changes. Progress. Not perfection. Self love. Giving yourself a break. Positive self talk. Making the best NEXT choice.

I’m getting there

TIme to read and go to bed early 🙂 Another good decision.